Hey. It's a brand new day again. New activities, discoveries, and of course, more and more heartaches. I have been pretending all my life. Pretending to be happy and Ok though it's not. Doing all the things that I thought would make me happy. I have been searching for that word for how many years now. But all I have found was just smiles, laughs but not totally the things that Im looking for. Pretending that I can stand all things and pretending to be brave in facing all my fears. Pretending the things that I'm not. Doing the things that I shouldn't do for some reasons.

Life is really complicated. It isn't fair. Sometimes it gives a free air to breath, sometimes, it's choking us. Leaving us hanging in the edge of a cliff waiting to be save.

I'm really tired. Tired of doing things that I hate to do. Tired of following to the things that they said was right. Perhaps I still don't have the guts to face the things that I must face. My fears. My lamentations. My everything.

I want them to see me as I am. Not the one who they want me to be. I didn't realize how hard this was. living to their high expections and things that I have to do for them. I'm burdened with these responsibilities. Do I have to carry this all my life? Yes. I have been here. Now, what's next?