Today

a tender breeze touches my skin
a horrible pain it's bringing
and I wanna go running
but I know I’ve got to let it in

it's so hard to face it all
cause I know tonight I'll fall
don't drag on me cause I can't keep strong
cause tomorrow I'll move on

but today, oh todayI've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow will bring back my sun
but today it all feels wrong
oooh today, yeah today, I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow with eyes dryI'll be ready for another try

go walking in the wood
it's suppose to make me feel good
but today it hurts even more
than I'll go try out a shore
but the sand make my eyes tear
every time another spear

who makes the burden even harder
but I'll be fine one day farther
but today, oh todayI've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow will bring back my sun
but today it all feels wrong

oooh today, yeah today, I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow with eyes dryI'll be ready for another try
it's just a blastcomes so fast
but I know it will go over tomorrow

but today, oh todayI've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow will bring back my sun
but today it all feels wrong

oooh today, yeah today, I've got to cry it all away
and tomorrow with eyes dryI'll be ready for another try

silke m..

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel alive,
Sometimes I feel dead,
Sometimes my heart aches,
Sometimes it’s all in my head.

Sometimes I feel lonely,
Sometimes I need my space,
Sometimes nothing happens,
Sometimes I’ve too much to face.

Sometimes things go right,
Sometimes things go wrong,
Sometimes I fit right it,
Sometimes I just don’t belong.

Sometimes I make decisions,
Sometimes I’m told what to do,
Sometimes I find life hard,
Sometimes so do you.

By Gemma Nolan

my last goodbye

i've been a fool for you for years now.

still holding on to the lie that you'll be back.

why are you doing this.

why are you still giving me the hope.

i have been broken for years now,

i sacrificed the chances of finding the one who can fill my emptiness.

i refused to trust my heart to others.

i have learned to fake a smile for others to see me happy.

i have learned to be numb.

i have learned to hurt others because i refused to respond to their love...

don't you think you have done enough?.

you've broken me into tiny pieces, and now, I can't reassemble myself.

Until now, I find it hard to trust myself to somebody.

I'm scared. I wanted to try but everytime I do, I fail.

Perhaps it's because I'm still hoping that one day you'll walk back in and say you love me.

It's pathetic. Stupid. Non-sense.

I'm really tired with these damn emotions.

All I wanted is for you to say you damn hate me.

And I'll stop with this stupidity.

Please don't give me anymore damn signs.

Coz no matter how hard I fight it, I lose.

Now, I wanted a new life.

I'll forget about you for the last time now.

I'll give myself a chance to try.

I'll try to learned to go with those stupid games.

So that next time, you'll see me standing with heads up.

I'll be very happy when I'll reach the point that you regreted hurting me.

Stupid you! I wanted revenge.

But I've come to realize that it would be very impossible.

So, I'll just stick to the fact that I can never be happy if I'll stick my thoughts on you.

But dont be rest assured.

Someday I'll be back with even new surprises.
I'll let go of you now.

It's more than enough.

This should be the last, my last goodbye.

" MGA NAGBABAGANG BALITA" >> (firefox, PASOK!)

,..ahheemm..sound check,.=)

Living here with other different people was really harder than I thought. Coz for all the days that you'll be together, there's a lot of empty spaces bound for mistakes and misunderstanding that must be filled up. I thought of it earlier and I never expected that worse things (much worse than I thought) could happen.
April 16, tuesday morning, two of our classmates came for the chance of having their On-the-Job training also here. And lucky enough, they are accepted and started working on that same morning. It was fun at first, knowing that we now have two new companions on our challenging life here at Iligan. But slowly, the fun fades and replaced by a sudden feeling of guilt and undesirable anger. I know I was acting a little bit exagerated but my point that time is 'He's just too confident!'. Overconfident (to tell you prankly) to sleep on my bed after too many warnings of getting up from there and go back to the hell he came from. They can act whatever they want in front of me but not to the extent of showing disrespect. I was so mad that I could'nt afford to forgive him. But as they say, time heals all wounds, so he's lucky enough that I decided to forgive him after almost one month. (He should be veeery thankful).
Many days passed. Another argument took place. Two best of friends turned a little fight into a dramatic sceneranio that almost recked the bridge between them. It started on the broken plate, followed by little misunderstanding, and I'm not sure if a certain 'Girl' is included. It was not really good on our sights, watching two close people becoming to be 'far' because of certain gaps that was already created between the two of them. We couldn't bear to see them becoming like that so we called for an urgent meeting that had settled everything. Thanks to us. =)
Not later than May 15, a lost signal was detected cause by certain incident. A revelation of a friend's feeling towards a 'Someone'. It was not really clear if 'friend' really had special feelings for 'Ideal_friend' because 'friend' really never mentioned the exact words to describe the said feeling. It was all sending and receiving signals everywhere, then, POOF! we have understood what the other meant. Very telephatic, isn't it? haha..it sure do. 'friend' still shows the said thing. And whatever it is, I'm pretty sure it will make 'friend' happy. =)

Bahay ni Kuya (iligan division) =)

It was Aplril 8 when we started living here. Having our On-the-Job training away from home. It was fun (at first), till troubles (bunch of troubles) came. I felt it was like living in Kuya's House (PBB House) because from time to time you just can't hide your self to others. Take off the masks and reveal ourselves! Showtime is over, I thought. I didn't realize I could be with these people. People that I thought at first are just ornaments in my everyday life. But it was different. The feeling was different. Having them everyday is really worthwhile.
I will surely miss them when this show will be over. (Sigh) HahaiZt,. this short vacation was surely fun. Laughing at everything, even a single tiny dot that was funny on our sights. Laughing off all the heartaches and talking it over. This was first time to be away from my parents with no tito's or tita's that will look after me. It was really exciting. Cooking our own food, dealing with others everyday, everytime, 24/7.. I thought this would be just like a mere a experience but I'm wrong coz mind you, I really did enjoyed. =)

Hey. It's a brand new day again. New activities, discoveries, and of course, more and more heartaches. I have been pretending all my life. Pretending to be happy and Ok though it's not. Doing all the things that I thought would make me happy. I have been searching for that word for how many years now. But all I have found was just smiles, laughs but not totally the things that Im looking for. Pretending that I can stand all things and pretending to be brave in facing all my fears. Pretending the things that I'm not. Doing the things that I shouldn't do for some reasons.

Life is really complicated. It isn't fair. Sometimes it gives a free air to breath, sometimes, it's choking us. Leaving us hanging in the edge of a cliff waiting to be save.

I'm really tired. Tired of doing things that I hate to do. Tired of following to the things that they said was right. Perhaps I still don't have the guts to face the things that I must face. My fears. My lamentations. My everything.

I want them to see me as I am. Not the one who they want me to be. I didn't realize how hard this was. living to their high expections and things that I have to do for them. I'm burdened with these responsibilities. Do I have to carry this all my life? Yes. I have been here. Now, what's next?